


That Closure We All Need

by koraeyantotobatu



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, closure for taegyu titanic, dont even read these tags, idk why i did this maybe to hurt myself, it's vv short im sorry, stop hurting me so i'll stop maing this kind of stories, taegyu, taegyu yes yes, we breathe angst, you can cry here it's completely fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29631954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koraeyantotobatu/pseuds/koraeyantotobatu
Summary: "Tyun, Can I ask you a question?", he turned to me and tilted his head a bit, "What is it?""Have you ever wondered what would've happened if we never… parted ways?"
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Kudos: 11





	That Closure We All Need

Walked my way to my car and patiently waited for someone that I needed to meet. For a proper closure. Just closure, nothing more this time. Nothing less too. We'll just bring back all the stuff to each other, not the memories… not the relationship that we once had.

I could feel my heartbeat pumping so hard inside my chest as I see him walk towards me. I rubbed my sweaty hands together and kept myself from being, obviously, nervous.

"Are you nervous?", he chuckled and placed the large box he was holding next to me. It's scary how well he knows me, my habits, my body language, mannerisms everything. Even when I don't have him as mine now.

"Nope, just cold."

Seeing him felt like it was the first time, but not like the first time I had laid my eyes on him and fell in love with him, no. This time it was the feeling of "first time seeing him happy but I'm not the reason anymore" kind. I'm not much of a small talk person, I'm not good at it but for the sake of not making this situation awkward, I tried.

"So how is it going between you two?", he leaned on my car and his lips curved into a smile, while I felt a small ache from my chest knowing that it was all genuine. I could tell they were doing great with his smile, I'm so happy for him… but sad for myself.

"Well, it's going great right now. We just adopted a new dog and named him 'Dandy'. He's such a cutie, you should come to our place sometime and see him.", I smiled and nodded, trying to make it seem it was all genuine when it's not. Seriously? Dandy? Isn't that like the name of OUR first dog? How dare they.

"I'm sure he is.", I opened the box he had and to my surprise, there was the watch I gave him, on the very top.

"Oh come on Tyun, I gave this to you as a gift before. I can't take this back. Keep it.", He shook his head and pushed it back to me, "I can't keep that hyung. Kai might get mad at me if he sees me with something that has something to do with you. Besides,", he paused to show me his wrist, "He got me a new one. I don't need to use that one anymore."

It hurts me how easy he could free those words from his lips. Of course, he doesn't need mine anymore because he has Kai's now. Just like my love for him. He has a new one, and he doesn't need me now. I should really stop making meaning in everything he says.

"You alright? I could keep it if you really insist-"

"No, it's okay! It's okay! I can't force something on a person if they don't really want to.", I put the watch back in. _But this was my gift for you... and it was meant to be special._

"Wow. That's… deep.", he chuckled again and open the car's trunk. I peeked inside and saw the remote-control car he gave me for my birthday. I smiled remembering how disappointed I was when he gave me that toy car because I thought he was really giving me a new car.

"Remember when you fooled me into thinking I was getting a new car and you bought me this? That was so annoying and funny at the same time.", he laughed with me and agreed, "Yes yes! I do!"

"But you kept it and played with it all the time. You looked so cute when you act like a small kid and play with that toy car I gave you.", my heart fluttered a bit with his words making my cheeks burn a bit. Does he really think so? The butterflies in my stomach were in chaos. I feel like I was starting to-

_Ah yes, Gyu here we go again._

The butterflies that were once ticklish are now making my heart hurt so bad. Cause I still love him and whenever he says something nice about me, this feeling makes it bittersweet. Everything about us is so bittersweet. But if I had even just a small small chance of getting everything we had back, I would take any risk for it. But everything is gone, like a broken glass, like our broken trust. And I can't do anything about it now but to set it free.

"Tyun, Can I ask you a question?", he turned to me and tilted his head a bit, "What is it?"

"Have you ever wondered what would've happened if we never… parted ways?", we both went silent after that. I told myself not to do anything stupid to make everything awkward. But here I am, the biggest fool of all, asking my ex-boyfriend if he still thinks about me at times.

Does he ever think about our past too? Does he think about how happy we were before, the first time we realized we were into each other? Because I do. I often think about what we could be if wasn't for our breakup. I often wonder how happy we would be if we never did end like this. Cause I'm still into him. My heart still beats for him. My heart still shouts and calls his name. My heart still longs for him, for his love, for his heartwarming smiles and laughs that I caused him, his embrace and cuddles that made me sleep peacefully through the night. I still long for something that I can never get back. And it sucks that I have to let go of that something in order for it to be happy. Even if it will cause me no good, just this unbearable pain, and regrets. _Regrets that kept me awake for most of the nights._

"Gyu, I'm sorry. What was it again?", I turned around, trying to fight back my tears. I don't want to be on my knees again, begging him to stay when he's obviously doing great with Kai, at least better than he used to be when he was with me. I messed up and I don't know how to make it all right. And now, I just have to pretend we were strangers again… _but now we have many memories with each other._

"Nevermind. I was just asking a stupid question.", I tried to laugh but my voice cracked, making my entire body give up. I swallowed the lump on my throat, containing all the words I wanted to say. You can't be like this now Gyu, please keep it all together.

"Hyung. Actually, I do.", he paused and stopped looking through the stuff inside the trunk.

_Come on, just tell me that you want me back and I'll come running into your arms. Just tell me that you still love me and I'll open every door for you._

"I do think about that sometimes. But I stopped doing so since Kai and I became a thing. Because what's the use of looking back if you can't work it out anymore? Right?", I nodded in agreement and gave him a short reply, "Yeah, I guess so."

"But don't fret, you'll find someone who will love you with all their heart, giving you all you need and all you want. Besides, we're here for a proper closure…am I right?", that's when I thought about it thoroughly, I wasn't sure if I wanted closure or if I wanted him back. I, too, don't know what's the answer for that question. We decided to meet up to have closure but deep inside I still want him to stay. Deep inside I was holding myself back from telling him that I am sorry, that I still love him, that I would do anything just fix the mess I made. And how could I find that someone who will love me when all I wanted was him?

But for the sake of his peace of mind, I lied, "Yeah. And these stuffs to bring back. That's all."

If you're happy, I'm happy. But why didn't you choose me? Why did you choose to leave? Why did you find someone else? Why did you choose not to fight for us? Is it that easy to give up everything we had?

_Is it that easy to leave me alone, slowly falling apart?_

His phone rang, the sound of his ringtone echoing through the parking lot. It's probably Kai calling. He excused himself, "Sorry hyung, I got to go. Kai is waiting for me on the 3rd floor.", I waved him goodbye and he took the boxes that had his things in them. And then I saw the remote of the toy car sticking out from the box, "Wait!", he stopped in his tracks.

I rushed to him and before he could turn around, I wrapped my arms around him and let my tears fall. I know he wouldn't see me cry. I just want to my last hug from him before I finally start walking alone on the path we used to take hand in hand. This would be hard for me but I need to do this.

"Hyung what are you doing?", I didn't let him go, instead I held him tighter, "Please let me do this. I won't beg for you to come back, just let me hold you for a minute. Let's stay this way for even just a minute. If a minute is all I have left with you, I'd spend that whole minute here, holding you in my arms."

Cause even if it's just a minute, it is important for me.

But every minute will end eventually. And for us, this is the end of our last minute. And so I took the toy car and its remote from the box he was holding, "I want to have this. It's my car remember?", he laughed and nodded. Lowkey, I still want to hold onto a piece of us, or at least what's left of it. Do you know that certain feeling wherein you want to move on but you're still deeply in love with someone and you can't just detach yourself from them because they are your greatest love of all? Yes, that's how complicated I feel. And it is terrible.

"So, um, goodbye then?", with a broken smile I replied, "Goodbye.", how is it so easy to say when you can't really let someone turn around with their back facing you and watch them walk away, holding someone else's hand, making the same promises and dreaming the same dreams you two once did?

I couldn't stop the tears that clouded my vision. Maybe it was way better not to have a closure. Maybe it was better if our story was untouched or unfinished. But at least he's happy. And if our path crosses again in the future, I'll make sure to love him much better, keep him beside me and be there whenever he needs me.

And I still hope that one day, it would.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading! kudos are very much appreciated <333
> 
> feel free to scream at me on my cc - https://curiouscat.me/raeDtteokbokki


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